tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
