I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
