he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
