Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
