Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
