all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
