If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
