Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize