doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
