Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why do cheetos always look like penises
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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