hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
