I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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