Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
