That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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