she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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