Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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