New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize