A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
