He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
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