I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
