Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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