i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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