I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
