After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
