Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When are your genitals available?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
