He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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