You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
