i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
