woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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