Plan B is the new Plan A
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
