he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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