I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
