Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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