I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
