this beer tastes like vomit already
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
