i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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