You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize