Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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