just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
