Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ladies don't puke and tell
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
