i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize