The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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