Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
