he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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