my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
