He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
