So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
