you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize