I can't watch pbs sober anymore
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
