she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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