Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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