No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
