I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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