Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize