i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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