Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
