whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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