hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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