This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
