You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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