We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
