I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
