$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
