My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
