I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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