woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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