I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
